Pump Up The...

An angry blogger is…

Well, in this world, I guess an angry blogger is about par for the course. There are a lot of blogs out there which are impelled by anger.

This isn’t one of them.

Until today. Now I am, if not angry, at least miffed and possibly even vexed.

I have managed to do something today that I haven’t managed to do in a very long time – scrape out enough time for a really good afternoon ride. So picture me if you will getting kitted out (actually, don’t picture that, just take it for granted), filling up my bottles, grabbing my RoadId and my phone and taking a couple of salt tablets because it’s warm out there.

I had a sort of presentiment of disaster, so I double checked my bag to make sure I had a spare tube and any other little necessaries and then pumped up my tires.

Actually, what I ended up doing was letting all of the air out of my rear tire. My pump was not so much something that inflates as something that sucks.

What the…?

Now, you have to picture me in my kit, helmet, gloves, everything, waddling around the garage looking for another pump. There isn’t one. Then I think that maybe I’ve ridden so little that I’ve forgotten how to use the pump.

How the heck can you forget how to use a pump? It isn’t that difficult, Looney.

Well, I gave the pump a try on a different tire. I let all the air out of that one, too.

What can I say? It’s a gift?

I experimented with the pump. I could feel air blowing out of it. I tried it on another tire. I did not let the air out of that tire. Of course, I didn’t put any air into it, either. Well, that’s an accomplishment of some sort, I suppose. I’ll have to take what I can get today.

I can tell you what I’m not going to get today – A RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I can tell you what I am going to get today – a new pump.

Once I get it home, I’m sure I’ll discover that the old pump was fine, I’m just doing something wrong.

Am I bummed out? Yes. Yes, I am. Thanks for asking.

Well, see you on the road.

I might not have any air in my tires, though, so watch out for me.

More Flats For You

As I was driving in to work today, the radio announced that the torrential downpours moving across the state would miss us, unless something changed. Well, something apparently changed, so no ride for me today. This left me wondering what to write about, but Cyclin' Missy came to my rescue by leaving a nice long comment about her experiences with flats.

So, without further ado, here's Missy (with a few interpolations from me.

My first flat was out on a trail alone on my mountain bike.

Well, see, there’s your first problem – riding on a trail. They have a habit of not going out and paving those things, so you have that whole nature thing going on out there – thorns, prickers…um…thorns…bear teeth, maybe, all kinds of things, any one of which can puncture a tire. I don't actually own a mountain bike, so I don't actually ride trails, so I don't really know what's out there, so I'm just guessing, but I might be right. Stranger things have happened.

I had already ridden it quite a bit, so changing the tube wasn't too hard. It was also the rear tire, so I spent the majority of my first time changing a bike tube trying to get the darned wheel back on the bike. I eventually made it...after about a half hour.

I feel your pain. I know plenty of people who can whip that back wheel back into place with that seems to be no effort at all. After quite a bit of practice, I am still not one of those people. I can get the back wheel back on, but it takes me a few minutes. The first time I ever tried it, of course, it took me infinity minutes. That is, I was never able to do it and finally have to have someone do it for me. It’s good thing I wasn't out riding a trail alone or I’d probably still be there.

The second time I changed a tube, I was really just putting a new rear tire on my road bike.

Rear tire again. Why isn’t it ever the front tire?

Um…this is not to be taken to mean that I want my front tire to go flat. I’m just saying that, if I’m going to have a flat anyway, why shouldn’t it be in the front rather than the back.

The tire was worn from the previous owner's time on a trainer.

Trainers. That’s a whole post in itself, since the second worst wreck I ever had was actually on a trainer. Don’t try to figure it out. Actually, from the standpoint of what happened to the bike, it was the worst crash ever. From the standpoint of what happened to me, it wasn’t too bad.

I thought that after doing the mountain bike tire with little trouble, I could do the road bike tire in maybe 10 or 15 minutes. All went well until I tried to get the new tire itself on. I've since learned that a brand new tire isn't very "stretched out" yet, so I eventually sucked up my pride and threw the wheel in the car for a trip to the bike shop.

Welcome to my world.

The guys there were nice enough not to charge me to finish pulling the tire over the rim.

It’s like I said once before, every bike shop needs to have a Steve. It sounds like yours does.

I'm a little nervous about getting a flat out on my road bike now.

You can’t think about it. Just ride and let the flats take care of themselves. This is a good philosophy as long as you never get a flat.

I also have some CO2 cartridges now, but I've never used them. I've heard stories about blowing a stem right off the tube with one of those.

I, too, have heard scary stories about them, but I’ve used them twice now and never had any problems whatsoever. And if I can do something with no problem, then anybody can. Trust me on this.

But I always take my cell phone along with me on a ride, so if I fail, I guess can hope that my hubby will have his ringer on. Ha!

I feel your pain there, too. My Lovely Lovely often has her phone on silent. I hope that this will not ended up causing me to walk a great distance pushing a limping bike someday.

I know people who don't ride alone very far out of concern that something might happen. Of course, they're right, something might happen. I can't prevent it, so I'll just take what precautions I can (such as carrying a spare tube) and then go out and ride. So far, many things have happened - flats, dropped chains, shifter problems, close calls with cars or dogs, road rash, getting well and truly lost, and so on, but none of them have been too bad. If you thing about that sort of thing too much, you'll just drive yourself crazy.

And what do I do when I'm driving myself crazy? I got for a ride, of course, and so should you.

See you on the road.

Flat as Flat Can Be

It took some effort, but I managed to tweak my day to make time for a ride. As I figured it, I had an hour and twelve minutes. A odd number…well, an even number, actually, but you know what I mean – an unusual number, perhaps, but that was what I had. I hit got kitted out and hit the road. It was hot, it was windy, and my legs felt great. I don’t just mean “really good” either, I mean great, and not just great but Tony the Tiger “GGRRRREEATTTTTT!”

I was just flying right from the start. The heat didn’t matter. The wind didn’t matter. This was apparently my day. I don’t know what I hit. I didn’t see it when I hit it, and I didn’t find it when I went back to look for it. I know that I felt it and I heard the “whump” of the impact and I heard a noise like “Brppphhffffffewwwwww” (I think that's how you spell it) and three second later my tire was out of air. I stopped. It was a rear wheel flat, darn it.

My History With Flats

I haven’t had that many flats, so I can recall each one.

1. My first flat was on a group ride. Or, rather, right before a group ride was supposed to start. That was the time Jörg looked up at me and asked, “Why am I changing this for you?” “Because you don’t want to wait twenty minutes to leave and are too nice to leave without me?” I guessed. That must have been it, because he continued to fix the tire for me.

2. I discovered my second flat when I was getting ready to go out on a solo ride, so I got out my handy-dandy bike repair book, studied a bit and then changed the tire while sitting on my couch. It was a rear wheel flat, and, after I got the tube changed and inflated, I discovered that I couldn’t get the wheel back on.

What to do, what to do…

At the time I had a little two door hatch back car. I took the front wheel off the bike (I knew I could get that one back on) and discovered that there was just room for the frame in the back of my car if I shoved my seat about as far forward as I could get it. This was clearly unsafe, with the steering wheel making indentations on my rib cage, so I was glad the bike shop wasn’t far away.

I got to the bike shop and dragged my back in and explained to Steve what had happened. He didn’t laugh very hard. He then showed me the trick to getting the back wheel back on (it turns out it matters which gear you’re in. Who knew? Well, Steve did, for one. I didn’t. I then had to get the bike back into my car and get us both back home. I made it before I ran out of breath. (It’s really hard to breathe with a steering wheel kissing your sternum.)

3. My third flat happened on the road as I was returning from a group ride. I was less than half a mile from home, so I just walked the bike home and changed the flat there. (Yes, I know that I should probably be ashamed to admit that, but there it is. I just didn't want to have a go at changing the flat on the road. What can I say? At least I'm honest about it.)

4. 5. My fourth (and now fifth) flats happened out on the road while I was on solo rides, and I changed them successfully. (I didn't really have a whole lot of choice in either case. I wasn't going to walk my bike that far.) These two times were the first times I ever used CO2 cartridges to refill the tire, and I somehow managed that. (Even though I’ve done it twice, I still don’t actually know how I did it. I’ll figure it out one day.)

If you've read much of this blog, you may have gathered by now that I am not mechanically inclined. I am, in fact, mechanically declined, I'm sure.

Anyway, getting a flat certainly put a damper on my great ride, although, while I was in the process of changing it (and seeing how many body parts I could get grease on at the same time, apparently) a nice gentleman in a pickup truck stopped to ask if I needed any help. I said "no" which, for a few minutes, I though may have been overly ambitious, but I made out. I headed back home and used what had been my precious ride time to head to the bike shop and pick up a new tube. Also, while I was changing the tube, I noted that my tires are not in any too good a shape, either, so I needed a couple of those as well.

Still, the ride was GGRRRREEATTTTTT! while it lasted.

Tomorrow a ride is probably out of the question, but I can always hope. Maybe next time I climb into the saddle my legs will feel the same way they did today.

Wish me luck.

See you on the road.