Today we answer questions from noncyclists. None of these questions were actually sent to
the blog, but they are questions that I have been asked during my numerous
personal appearances. (I appear at my
home, at the place I work, that sort of thing.)
What do you do when
you’re out riding and it starts to rain?
How do you answer this question without sounding
sarcastic? You get wet. I always want to ask people who ask me this
question what other answer they think is possible. Okay, during a really big storm I know some
people who hid in a handy shed in a stranger’s yard or under a carport. That does happen, but mostly you just get
wet. It would be interesting to
speculate on what the owner of the shed or carport thinks if they happen to
look out the window and see a bunch of wild cyclists hiding under their roof,
but that one hasn’t come up yet.
Do you have to wear
those clothes?
No. So far as I know,
there is no law requiring cycling clothes.
After seeing me in them, some people might want to pass a law against cyclng clothes, but that’s a
different story entirely. My first group
rides I wore plain old shorts and a T-shirt.
I gradually moved up to a cycling jersey. It took a lot longer to move up to cycling
shorts, and I kind went back to a long T-shirt for a while to hide the shorts,
but the kit is just too comfortable to pass up, and eventually you get used to
it. Some of the passersby may never get
used to it, but you will.
What’s the longest
you’ve ever ridden?
We’ll assume this means “in one day” and the answer is 200
miles. Yes, I know that’s completely
ridiculous. I didn’t finish the ride
strong, and I had a nice guy pacing me the last several miles to get me to the
finish, and I didn’t really want to sit down for a few days after that, also, I
didn’t want to taste anything sweet for about a month, but I did finish.
200 miles? Are you crazy?
Yes. It’s really the
only explanation.
How much did your bike
cost?
Now, in fact, I was at the bike shop watching my bike get tuned
up one day, when a guy came in with his bike.
It was simply a bike, very old, rusted, beat up, but functional. He took a look at my bike and asked how much
it cost. The mechanic looked at the
guy’s bike and then lied and said “$200.00.”
The guy looked quite smug and told us that he’d only paid $20.00 for
his. He clearly thought I was a sucker
for paying so much for a bike, and that he had gotten a great deal, and maybe
he had.
So, why did you lie to
him about the price?
Because, let’s face it, even a bottom end road bike is
fairly pricey, and you get tired to people looking at you like you’re a moron
for spending so much of your hard earned cash on a bicycle when you could go to
the local “if they don’t sell it you don’t need it” megamart and a buy cheap bike
there. It’s just like musicians and
their instruments. You’d paid how much for that violin? (Or accordion or bagpipes or didgeridoo or
whatever you happen to play.) To some
people it’s worth it and to some it’s not.
You know who you are.
Not that this is a question, but I always figured that,
rather than looking at the cost of your bike, figure out how much it cost you
per mile. That’s pretty steep in the
beginning, but, if you ride enough you get it down to pennies.
So, what do you think
about Lance Armstrong?
Again? Really? Okay, so I realize that Lance is probably the
only professional cyclist that a lot of Americans have ever heard of, but there
are one or two others out there. Even If
you want to limit yourself to American cyclists, let’s talk about Chris Horner
or Tyler Farrar or Greg LeMond or let’s branch out into the rest of the world and
talk about Jens Voigt or Andy Schleck.
Wait, I have an idea! Let me tell
you about this guy named Eddy Merckx…
But you didn’t answer
the Lance Armstrong question.
Oh, enough about Lance.
Don’t you know anything else about pro cycling?
I know they all take
drugs.
They do not all
take drugs.
Of course they do.
Tell you what – go read Racing
Through the Dark by David Millar and then we’ll talk. Now, do you have any questions that don’t
involve doping.
Do they still run that
Tour de France thing?
What? Of course they
do. Why would you ask that?
Well, since Lance
Armstrong isn’t racing anymore—
Okay. Do you have any
questions that don’t involve doping or Lance Armstrong?
Um…no.
Great. That’s all for
today, folks. See you next time.
